1: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon forgive one’s enemies
2a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital (see requital 1) forforgive an insult
b : to grant relief from payment offorgive a debt
to grant forgiveness had to learn to forgive and forget
“31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:31-32
Forgiveness is a strong word and a difficult thing for people to deal with. I’m one of those people who had a very hard time to forgive some people for their wrongdoing to me. Forgiving someone can take years to finally say ” I forgive you”. You don’t have to say it to their face, you can say it in a message or mail a letter to the person. As long as you forgive them in your heart then it will be okay, all is forgiven.
– Is it hard to Forgive?
Oh gosh yes! It is the toughest thing to ever do, or at least to most people it is ( I included). Forgiving someone takes a lot of letting go of you. It’s hard to forgive cause you are too hurt by the person who caused you pain. You don’t feel like you want to forgive because you’re angry. You want nothing to do with the person who offended you. You feel they don’t deserve your forgiveness.
I recently watched a movie called “The Shack” I’m sure you guys have seen it or at least heard of it. The movie is about a family whose daughter was taken and killed, the father went through a depressed time & God brings him to the place where his daughter was killed, but instead its God, the holy spirit, and Jesus. The father basically doesn’t believe God exists because he let his daughter die and didn’t help her. So they all teach him in different ways on how to believe again. I could go more into detail about that movie because it’s that good.
Back to what I was saying about the movie, there’s a scene where God talks to him about forgiving the guy who killed his daughter. The movie actually gave me more clarity on forgiveness. Heres a little clip of the scene where God ( Graham Greene) talks to the Father (Mac) about forgiving the killer.
That scene is one of the best scenes for me, finally realizing:
– its okay to be angry, that takes time
– just because you forgave the person doesn’t mean you guys have to have a relationship again
– you will probably have to say ” I forgive you” till it gets easier to handle
– God is always going to be there with you helping you forgive others, you are not alone
– your only hurting yourself, keeping yourself from being happy & enjoying things in life
I had three important times in my life where I learned to forgive those people. I’m going, to be honest, and share those times because it heals something inside of me.
1. My dad was a drug addict for almost 20 years. He wasn’t really around growing up, in and out of jail a lot. Until finally 12 years ago he went to prison and gave his life to God turned his life around. When he got out, he sobered up and got clean. I forgave my dad for not being there for my sisters & I when we were little. I couldn’t be mad anymore. I still had him now and I’m still growing up. I still get enjoy the time I get with my dad and that’s something I’m grateful for.
2. At my moms, we had a cousin staying with us and he decided to molest my sisters & I. Now that took A LOT of forgiving. How can I forgive someone who would do something like that?! Easy. God. He gave me the STRENGTH to be able to move on and live my life the way I should have. He gave me the COURAGE to get out of bed and move one foot forward in front of another. He gave me FAITH that he is there even in those dark times shining his light on me.
3. This one is still fresh. About a year and a half ago a situation happened between my sister and it caused us to not talk for a whole year. Man did that year feel really long. We were really close, we did everything together, we were each other, first person, to call/text when we saw/heard something. So going 365 days without any communication was tough. It was hard to see her social media and see what she would write in references to me. That’s what took me longer to even think about forgiving her. There were times where she had come over and I wouldn’t even look her way or speak to her. I was hurt. I wasn’t going to forgive someone who said negative things towards me, no way. But I prayed and prayed and prayed. I’m being honest when I say I had intentions of not talking to her for years and I was completely okay with that. But instead, I got tired of always being angry at her. This is when I saw the movie “The Shack” and realized its okay to forgive and still have anger, but that anger will eventually go away. We are okay now, we talked things out. It’s still a little uncomfortable with me. Is it okay to laugh with each other? Yes. Is it okay to talk to each other about things? Yes. As long as you are okay with it, and it’s not being forced just to makes things right. Do what you feel is best.
“Forgiveness is just about the hardest thing you could do if you have a difficult time getting to that. I say that because forgiving has never been easy for me and I would always hold on to what bad has been done to me. I have come to a long ways especially since I’ve become a follower of God. My walk with God has taught me what it means to be a better person and especially a forgiving one because that was very important to be. I now have such an easier way of forgiving because it’s best to let go and let God instead of having a heavy heart and constant anger or distress when you can say that you’ve forgiven and moved on.” – Anonymous
“I’d have to say it all depends on the topic or well situation. If it’s a little quarrel with your siblings then it’s easy to forgive and forget. But if someone, like family or a friend does something to you that causes you heartbreak and deep pain then it’s not easier to forgive. They have taken away your trust and put you in this mindset of hurt and things will never be the same again or okay. But through the Grace of God, he has empowered me to forgive. No matter how long it takes, I do it for the sake of my soul and to be able to move forward and live on the way God has planned for me.” – Anonymous
If I am speaking to someone who can relate please know there is nothing that God hasn’t seen or heard. If you would turn to him for comfort he’s the one that can heal, restore, and give you that peace you desire. God has not given up on you, he is waiting for you.
If you have any questions about forgiving someone or need help doing it. Comment below, I would love to help in way possible!
Have A Blessed Day!